Are you hoping to get pinched or is your green hidden? I told my daughter I didn’t brush my teeth this morning in honor of St. Patrick’s Day… she thought it was gross (btw, I was only kidding!).
An American lawyer inquired, ‘Paddy, why is it that whenever you ask an Irishman a question, he answers with another question?’
‘Who told you that?’ asked Paddy.
Reilly is walking through a graveyard when he comes across a headstone with the inscription “Here lies a politician and an honest man.”
‘Faith now,’ exclaims Reilly, ‘I wonder how they got the two of them in one grave.
‘Ah, that was a lovely dress,’ announced Colleen, ‘and it would have fitted me if I could have got into it, so it would.’
‘Murphy, why don’t you give up the drinking, smoking and carousing?’ said Mrs O’Leary
‘It’s too late,’ replied Murphy.
‘It’s never too late,’ assured the virtuous Mrs O’Leary.
‘Well, there’s no rush then,’ smiled Murphy.
May you live as long as you want, and never want as long as you live.
May your glass be ever full.
May the roof over your head be always strong.
And may you be in heaven
Half an hour before the devil knows you’re dead.